They dont know the person we knew before Cancer came calling. In astrological terms, Cancer is the ruling sign of the 4th house of family and home. It leaves you mentally and physically knackered and I mean it when I say Inever want to go into another relationship for as long as I live. We spent many evening in A &E. before the chemotherapy was stopped. And even though you have taken so much from us, Im letting you know, Cancer, that you cant have these memories that are left. During the pandemic, one mom from Staten Island amassed hundreds of thousands of devoted followers for her hilarious videos about the basic things in life that can drive us all a little crazy. Hi Paddock. Michael Causey We had the prognosis of one year end Feb 2019. Thank you for your kind reply, keep in touch Paddock, Hi Paddock, I'm so glad to hear from you and that your okay. We have a good marriage but my husband has withdrawn, though his cancer diagnosis is positive he is currently going thru chemo and for a few weeks has a catheter he hates. (Mom, look away.) Staten Island-based, Brooklyn-bred Lisa Marie is one funny wife and mom. Her tiktok videos have racked up over 2.7 million views and she has over 500k followers on her social media platforms. Thank you very much for the article which I just had the opportunity to read. Nancy Hopper It's so hard watching them getting weaker each day. It gave me 60 seconds to just take my mind off my terrible reality and give us some time to laugh. How do you take care of them and keep the look of impending doom off your face and staying positive when we know our life now is over and were also avoiding this Coronavirus at the same time. I really hope your meeting with the consultant this afternoon has gone better than you hoped, and your husband can have another course of chemo. This is so frightening. Hey Cancer, I know you know you suck, but I'm going to tell you again. I was with him when he passed and I was his full time carer, day and night. We were normal. If he's mobile and can care for himself could you move in with your mother to give him time to think about what he's doing if he doesn't change well you'll have to think about yourself more.. I'm so glad that you now have support in place, it must be a huge relief. My heart is so broken. So thankfully I do not feel quite so alone. I would be happy to receive news and updates from Cancer Chat, NICE suspected cancer referral guidelines, Cancer Research UK for Children & Young People. I drove David to appointments, sat with him every Wednesday during his chemotherapy treatments, and watched my sturdy, strong husband get thinner and weaker every day. more than 3 years ago, 5 Lessons on Dealing with a Spouse with Cancer, Copyright caregiver.com, Inc. 1995 - 2023. When I looked up, there were tears in his eyes. I hope you don't mind me joining this conversation - I have been reading your stories and I hope you are both coping ok. We are now waiting for an MRI this Saturday and a colonoscopy next Monday in order to find out how far it has spread but although I am trying very hard to be upbeat,I am not very optimistic as he is so so weak and that's even before we started any treatment yet He had to take some iron tablets last week which upset his tummy even more and now that these have stopped (had to stop because of the colonoscopy next week) he was sick last night and had a terrible night. He finds it unbelievable that people can relate to me and how many friends Ive made through social media, and hes very proud of me. I remember Saturday nights when we were people who went into a restaurant and ate good food, people who drank beers and Long Island ice teas. Thinking of you and hoping you are coping at this difficult time. But fans didnt know that she quit her job to take care of her husband at the start of the pandemic, held odd jobs to cover their mounting medical bills and moved into her parents home when she could no longer afford hers. For most of my marriage, I failed miserably at this. It influences my humor in a way where I can joke about growing up Italian and having people relate and laugh together. The laugh lines I acquired that night were so worth it. I can remember only two instances in the ensuing five years that we even exchanged strong words, and then we immediately apologized. or is he one of these people who doesn't want people to know? Whether its about doing her familys laundry or the pedicure prices in her hometown, shes amassed millions of views for telling it like it is, all while sporting her now iconic white hair clip. I'm sorry to hear what your going through. If so, what do you think of it? During the outbreak of COVID-19, One Funny Mother Dena Blizzard resorted to Facebook Live to keep in touch with her audience of moms and wine aficionados. I cant tell you how many promises to our kids Disneyworld, a camping trip out West, boat trips, and future father-daughter dances to name a few now all hang somewhere in a sad cloud of uncertainty. A Christmas post about her husband's fourth round of chemo drew over 3,000 comments. l am not sure that everyone has that ability,especially when stress levels have long since disappeared over the horizon. Chances are, youve probably stumbled on one of Rileys videos. This is my suggestion hopefully others will have ideas as well, hope you get sorted soon and have a good future. I could barely eat anything & breathing was quite difficult. Cancer is also a disease of the sufferers partner,in as much as they stand in the way of a barrage of mindless raging against the situation the patient hurls out.Its not necessarily directed, its just you are the one standing by their side 24/7,the one with whom they let slip their guard and reserve,comfortable in your presence, the only one who they can show the true manifestation of all their fears too. My husband of 37 years was diagnosed w/ grade III brain tumor in 2012. He's had two courses of chemotherapy which haven't worked. He buries his head with the cancer in some ways and to the world makes out he's strong where I see his true mix of emotions and his fear at home. I had made a vow to myself that if he ever laid a hand on me I'd leave. See acast.com/privacy for more information. But in this time of despair, we have found there are countless people who hope for us because our hope is almost gone. He won't go out either so just stays at home all day sitting down and going to bed at 8.30 but can't sleep at night. I recently heard that his son wants the home we shared and tat my husband has made a new will. Im angry that people who see him now wont know him for who he really is the strong man who years ago kicked kidney failure to the curb and lived a healthy, active life for 20-some years with a transplanted kidney. I hope they manage to get the sickness under control for him. I can let him go to get treatment, I can't let him go to put him in the ground. As for my husband, post-cancer he cherished each and every moment of life as the gift that it is. My partner has cancer and I can relate to you. His old voice never returned, and neither did our dysfunctional communication skills. I had to pay attention to Davids body language, becoming sensitive to the unspoken meaning behind his hand gestures, leg movement, or his facial expressions. As a husband, his mission is to defend his domestic haven from harm and upsets. This means they put a lot of emphasis on tradition, sentimentality, roots, and security. Im furious thinking of all the things you took from us laughter, happiness, time with our children. The neurosurgeons finally determined the tumor to be malignant & we have been told there is a 5% chance for survival of 5 years beyond the operations. He is skin and bones and won't eat anything. "I've always been so embarrassing to them. I loved performing in my own town and meeting so many of my online friends and familiar faces. I had the pleasure of performing at St. George Theater on Feb. 5, and it was a beautiful turnout. What is your husbands name, and how is he doing in his battle against cancer? My husband is evil onthese but it is a necessity. Discovery Company. This article was originally published on June 4, 2017, The Adderall Shortage Is Affecting Both Parents And Kids With ADHD In Big Ways, Why TikTokers Calls Green Noise A Game Changer For Sleep. Her Instagram has nearly 200,000 followers. My friend's husband had cancer and is now clear and the best advice she gave me with how to deal with his mood swings, was to just be patient and to try not to take things personally which I know is hard but when I asked her if he had mood swings and she said yes they were awful just knowing it wasn't just me made me feel better- especially when you get told you don't understand how hard it is. "It's such a great, great feeling that there's still such a nice community," she said. maybe 150 at BEST. In a 2021 interview with CNN, she said, When people said I was helping them, I couldnt believe it, I didnt understand how or why but Im honored to be helping anybody going through anything.. I can more than relate, Beth. Riley's approach to comedy is blunt, poking fun at the day-to-day life of a mom and caregiver. We then had 3 weeeks with no treatments just pain relief, where he put on weight and built up strength. Wishing you both a lot of courage and I hope we can all get a little comfort soon. On top of it I had this feeling of guilt eating at me, but some people on here have made me think about it and realise that it's what I do for Andy now that matters, being here for him, which I am and will be. He's the best husband anyone could ask for. Is he so ill, that he needs taken care of or has he reverted back to a childhood state, you are his wife not his mother. No sanitizer, no Lysol, going back and forth to hospitals taking a chance. My husband is only 52, his father died of pancreatic cancer at 49, his mother of pancreatic cancer at 68 and his fathers brother of pancreatic cancer at 70. But the fact remains that it was the shared experience of my husbands illness that my marriage relationship was revitalized. My husband has also accused me of stealing money 9 Not true, but think he has) and has already brought another woman (I think an escort ) into the home I moved out of , for an overnight stay. I'm a kind and compassionate person and try and give any help to anyone but being hated and critisized and spoken down to day in day out is very challenging, actually I just want to cry but I'm too busy. It was the cancer. Your effort and contribution in providing this feedback is much Have you got some support? In the ensuing years, we enjoyed an extraordinary relationshipa true partnership in every sense of the word. He appears to be shrinking and ageing. He has lost so much weight. From that point on, I made a concentrated effort to consider Davids needs before my own. Oh, do I hate you for taking that one. He's a very small man physically. I have even left at one point, that shook him up a lot. I have 2 children, 1 at home, 1 at university. She posts videos about the ridiculousness of day-to-day life as a mom and caregiver. I appreciated the article because it placed communication as "Number One" on the important list. Dan Bongino, 46, was diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma last year, and had chemotherapy and radiation to treat his disease. he can't stand he isn't eating or drinking he says the house is like a bus station people in and out every 5 minutes just to look at him , but no one has been no one knocks at the door , I just don't know what to do anymore I cry and cry and cry I just can't stop . I am so sorry to hear what you are living through, when facing health difficulties or mental stress some people do change tack, and it can be incredibly hard to put up with it, and there have been times in the past when I ended up ringing the Samaritans or Womens Aid just to let off steam because I could not believe I was sitting there and taking it to the point of not eating or sleeping properly, and that was before I got cancer. Someone please help I need advice Im in beast mode I have to do everything I possibly can for my husband. He's just come home from hospital after 10 days afterdeveloping blood clots on his lungs and an infection. Psychologically we both feel better, and all of a sudden all the support network has kicked in aswell. We went on holiday for 2 weeks, where we walked miles as he felt fine apart from stomach pains. It will push you into boundaries you didn't know existed. Lisa Marie Riley @onefunnymommy is a court stenographer turned comedian. A Facebook post falsely announcing Tony Dow 's death has now been removed. The he kind of pursued things further and in 2018 we started going out together as partners. Hi there JosephMy husband was diagnosed April 2018. Now we are sad people, angry people, depressed most days. We did not expect they would come back and say that I had a tumor in my brain. You cant have those awesome cocktail-soaked flashbacks of us out with friends. Despite her husbands progressing cancer, Riley managed to post videos nearly every day. I know he misses it too. As the year went on I became a verbal punchbag it seemed as he would just flare up for no apparent reason, numerous times say it was over etc. But I feel my heart is breaking, and in so much emotional pain and physical pain, I struggle to cope at times. But I'm realising now that i'm left with mental scars. All ran CT scans & further MRI tests. It's hard dealing with the mood swings and as hispartner I feel my own feelings are irrelevant to him sometimes of how hard it is for us too. Life can change in an instant. It brought it all back. My husband is 62 andhadn't been well for a while but he is one of these people who just won't go to the doctors On 16th January he collapsed in town and he had to (reluctantly) go to A&E where they did tests and found a large tumour on the CT scan (colon). He struggled to communicate by writing with a shaky hand on a dry erase board. Surely with counseling and dedicated hard work, we could have changed destructive patterns in our marriage long before; but without the impetus of cancer, Im not sure we would have. I hope that you are coping ok? The doctors have told us we probably wont have that. He is severely cognitively/physically impaired and I'm told by Drs, that he will continue to deteriorate. Like you I dread every day because it's all about the cancer, everything revolves around the bloody cancer. Sorry you are here but welcome none the less. . Bob Makin has produced the Makin Waves music column since 1988. what kind of cancer does onefunnymommy husband have what kind of cancer does onefunnymommy husband have husband's cancer has made him nasty. . So, I had an "awake trach" procedure prior to the actual biopsy. Full of expletives (ear muffs for kids please), hysterical rants and a moving revelation about her three year old son's morning ritual that forces her daily to rise to the occasion, this off-the-cuff conversation jettisoned past a long line of previously recorded episodes to be the first episode of our 2021 slate. omg sat here in tears again due to the same situation ,been married 34 years and my husband can be a bully at times ,but since he was diagnosed with cancer last year hes become horrible expects me to do everything for him with no thanks at all ,i too struggling with my own health issues .i hate to say when hes in hospital its a welcome break from his nastiness,and i canrelax.he isn't terminal but seems to be happy being dependent on everyone else to do for him ..i thought i was horrible feeling so cold and angry ,while hes the one with cancer and whose had the operations and infections he loves the nurses saying how well hes done and he's always laughing and joking with them ,until they try to get him to move that is . * To protect your identity do not use your full name. 2. Riley, who was born and raised in Brooklyn and now lives in Staten Island, always had a big New York personality and sense of humor. If youve been knocked down get up, dust yourself off, and get back in the arena. I really hope this doesn;t sound selfish, and the main reason I am posting this is to see if anyone else has had the same experience and if so how they coped, and in fact if they coped, becuase I'm struggling and ready to give up. He died unexpectedly from heart failure the day before, just a few months after hed celebrated his five-year cancer survival. That was August 2018. One subsequent TikTok video went viral (5M views) and now she's helping a combined 500K followers across both platforms laugh their way through the "current s%#t show" of COVID as she fights to do anything besides cave into cancer in front of her husband and three kids. Do friends and familly know? Normal life seems a very long time ago now ! I am sorry to hear that you are in a similar situation although you probably understand best what I am going through. A former court stenographer, Riley created her Instagram account two years ago to bring some joy to her family after her husband Davids cancer diagnosis. Sign up for Scary Mommy's daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches. You'll find a lot of caring people on line here that you can chat to in the dark times - you'd be surprised how many posts are in the middle of the night - well maybe you'd not be that surprised eh? Please keep in touch. Infidelity is the elephant in the room of cancer treatment. How did you find hilarious mommy on Facebook. Sometimes I think he was testing me. but for now, Id be saying do what you can to keep safe first of all, get phone numbers of people like Samaitans and Womens Aid, so someone who can listen to you becomes easily accessible, they are usually accessible online too. He's had two courses of chemotherapy which haven't worked. Court stenographer turned comedian Lisa Marie Riley @onefunnymommy is her real name. We have school families who pray for us because there are days we have nothing to say to God. Up until now I have been able to come home and check on him every couple of hours, but he he's gotso many appointments coming up I don't see how I can work and support him. Her name is Lisa Marie Riley, better known as One Funny Lisa Marie, and celebrities like Hugh Jackman and Meghan Trainor are among her fans. Im livid that you are crushing the spirit of a guy who could drive a tractor and bale hay like a farmer but on weekends could maneuver a speedboat practically blindfolded around Lake Cumberland. I chatted with Lisa Marie to preview her April 2 hop across the Arthur Kill to perform at the URSB Carteret Performing Arts & Events Center. * To protect your identity do not use your full name. Yes sometimes husbands and wives do change afraid no idea why. Theres yet another thing you are taking. How and why did your husbands cancer diagnosis lead to your comedy career, and what has been his response to that? My kids didnt know who you were. In s few months we were fully into a battle with Cancer. Relate has long waiting lists. Completely withdrawn. Not many friends either as he was never a very social person and didn't really like to hang out with friends much. Im not daft though, I realise he was characteristically a jealous and controlling person, this came from mistrust from failed relationships, our one salvation was we talked to each other and talking is the key. Now we are just waiting for the tests and the results probably around a week later in February. Once, Riley dreamed of being a weather girl. Both partners may feel anxious about this issue but be reluctant to talk about it. If youve been knocked down get up, dust yourself off, and get back in the arena. You will be tired and yes, you will be frightened too. The process of chemo therapy too easily becomes a group think blaming the spouse for giving the patient cancer. We were married only 8 months ago and my husband had his cancer diagnosis six . Her fans have started a GoFundMe to help with their education. It wasn't him. I remember that. He has really struggled with eating as he can't taste anything which I believe is a side effect of the chemo. He never did. Riley told CNN that David fought like a bull to the very end., It doesnt feel real what has happened, she said. No one counsels the spouse that the patient will eventually be legally incompetent and should not be trusted with major life decisions or finances. Thank you so much for this opportunity and for the continuous support. Im always grateful for every opportunity that comes my way.